Spicing It Up Despite Stress, Fatigue, or Depression

Living like roommates isn’t nearly as fun or interesting as passionate love – nor is it healthy for intimate partners – but romance is often the first casualty in the war of life. Stress, arguments, and basic biology deflate spontaneous passion and romantic love…but you can win the war even if you’ve lost a battle or two!

  1. Visualize your perfect relationship

What kind of partnership do you want? Who do you have to be – how do you have to change – to be half of that relationship? Visualization isn’t just about training for marathons or doubling your income, it’s powerful and effective in restoring intimate relationships as well. Spend a few minutes a day thinking about your perfect relationship. Share your thoughts and hopes with your partner. You may be together in the same house, but miles apart emotionally. Visualization can bridge the gap.

  1. Figure out your role

If you are living like roommates, ask yourself how you contributed to the situation. What would you do differently if you could do it over? Forget about how your partner has disappointed you: how have you disappointed yourself in this relationship? With a little soul-searching, you can figure out how you can show more love, kindness, acceptance, and compassion…which may lead to more love from your partner.

  1. Forgive and forget

It’s a cliché for a reason. If you hold on to grudges or betrayals, you’re just perpetuating the damage. Maybe he messed up, maybe you did…but ruminating and not letting it go just makes things worse. Talking to a counselor or wise friend can help. Even better, tell your partner that you’re having trouble letting go of your bitterness or hurt. Learn ways to forgive and let go – for your own sake.

  1. Learn something new together

Take a ballroom dance class or join a book club together. Do yoga or take a communication class at a local school or college. Not only will you learn a new activity or a new way to think, you’ll also learn something new about your partner.

  1. Remember what was once obvious

When you first fell in love, you focused on your partner’s strengths. You loved his determination and melted at his compassion. You overlooked the weaknesses (possibly to the detriment of the relationship or your self-esteem!), and concentrated on all the fantastic qualities.

The more you focus on his strengths, the more loving you’ll feel towards him. Think about why you were first attracted to him and be grateful for the good parts of your life together. Brush away the annoyances. A caveat: if the “annoyances” are major problems such as abuse, criminal activity, or other evil behaviors, forget about his so-called strengths and figure out how to get help with getting your life back on track!

Similar Articles

Relationship Warning Sign... Trust Gut Feelings A person should never underestimate instincts. They are there for a reason, and are the best indicator of relationship warning signs. If things seem
Michael has something spe... Does sex make or break a relationship? If you asked me that question years ago, I would probably have given a different answer. Now, being with Michael,
The Five Most Common Aphr... For thousands of years civilisations have been searching for ways to improve sexual desire and ability, turning to foods they had readily available. Spanish Fly, a powder
Long-Distance Relationshi... What if you met someone at a wedding or on a trip (business or personal) only to find out that the only thing that seemingly separates you
How Money Can Damage Your... When entering into a serious relationship, most of you will talk to your partner about children, your careers or your plans for the future. However, how many
Finding a Balance : More ... Embracing a more simplistic lifestyle means balancing the time between work and more quiet domains of life. Bringing back simplicity means reconnecting with extended family and friends
Enhancing Your Sexuality ... Some of the most enjoyable times that I recall from my childhood are those moments when I would be running pell-mell, full-throttle, without-a-care-in-the-world through a meadow or
How Your Sex Life Can Imp... Clearblue, a company that make pregnancy tests and fertility monitors, discovered through a survey that two in every three British women don’t know that they can usually
Surviving Your In-Laws Du... So, you have a set of in-laws that you are not so fond of and your marriage gets hit with a lot of unneccessary stress every year
6 Styles of Love: How You... These 6 styles of love affect your contribution to a healthy romantic relationship. Here’s how the eros, pragma, storge, agape, ludus, and mania styles of love affect