Biologically, men and women differ. In general, men’s bodies are designed to be physically stronger, and women’s bodies are designed to carry and deliver children. Emotionally, men and women differ. Men have more testosterone, and women have more estrogen. (Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25351351)
These hormones have many roles, but a woman’s estrogen production makes her more emotional than man. There are always exceptions to the rules, but for the most part, men and women are two very different breeds of the same species. Keeping that in mind, it stands to reason that men and women’s ideals regarding romance differ as well.
Romance and Emotions
A woman receives a big, expensive bouquet of flowers delivered to her workplace. All of her co-workers are impressed. She, too, is impressed, and the flowers make her very happy, but before she is astounded, she grabs the card.
The card reads, “I am truly grateful that you are a part of my life. I cannot imagine living a day without you in it. I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight, and until then, I’ll be missing you.” The woman truly smiles, and rushes to show the card to her co-workers. Had the card said, “From Bill,” her reaction may have been very different. Sure, she would have been pleased, but she probably wouldn’t have been elated.
While women do love the big gestures, they only love them because of the emotion behind the gestures. If a man gives her something expensive, then that means he was willing to sacrifice because he loves her to such a great degree. Not only do women find the emotion of love to be romantic, but women also find passion romantic. Women want to be wanted. For a woman, knowing that she is so sexy and desirable that her man can barely contain himself is the epitome of romance in a woman’s eyes.
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Romance and Actions
An endearing husband thinks long and hard about something nice he can do for his wife. First, he goes to his local jewelry store and with the help of the attendant, he buys his wife a beautiful diamond bracelet. Next, he stops by a chocolate shop and buys her favorite chocolates. Last, he stops by the flower shop and picks up a bouquet of gladiolas, her favorite flowers. At the flower shop, the attendant gives him a small card to fill out, and he tells her “I don’t need the card. I’m going home now to take them to her, but thanks.”
He is confident that she’ll be thrilled with his selections. Upon returning home, he walks through the door, and his wife is cleaning the kitchen counters with a rag doused in ammonia. “Hi Honey, she says, and she asks him how his day had gone. He says great, walks over to her, and thrusts the treasures into her arms, saying “here.” She responds with a polite, “Oh that’s so sweet.”
In this case, the man probably expected shrill shrieks of happiness since he carefully selected her favorite things. Unlike women, men think in terms of actions. If they see a problem, they fix it. For a man, it is his actions that show his wife that he loves her. It seems so logical to him. He wouldn’t do the things he does if he didn’t love her. His actions show his love, and therefore, in his mind, there is no need for a verbal expression of that which his actions already prove.
For men and women to be happy in the romance department, there must be a meeting of the minds. Women should understand that a man’s actions truly are his expression of love, and she should really see them as such. She should be aware of a man’s everyday actions and be appreciative of them. Men, on the other hand, must understand a woman’s deep seated need of hearing heartfelt emotions. He should try to accompany actions with at least a small verbal or written testimony of love or affection.
Romance is in the eyes of the beholder, and men and women interpret the definition of romance in entirely separate manners. Simply stating that men are not romantic is a fallacy of a great degree. Being aware of each sex’s perception of romance is a small step in changing the many misconstrued myths concerning romance.