Breaking up may be difficult for some people, but others have found comfortable ways to start a new life without their ex’s.
Do What’s Comfortable When Breaking up
In most instances how to break up successfully depends on which method is most comfortable. Some people write letters, others meet in public places to end it, yet some others send e-mails and text messages.
In an interview, restaurant manager and teacher Maria Tinoco, 35, said is has always been easy for her to break away from a doomed relationship. “I just don’t talk to them anymore,” Tinoco said. “I’ve had to just let it go, forget about the past and go on with my life.” Tinoco said she would advise young women to break it off when things aren’t going well because “there’s a lot of guys out there.”
In another interview, clinical psychologist Marv Meyer said the best way to break off a relationship is to “talk about it and let the other person know it’s not working out.” It really doesn’t matter why a breakup is necessary, Meyer said, just “wish him or her the best.”
Couples Should Talk About Ending Their Relationship
WebMDfeature writer Denise Mann in an interview published on Oprah.com, talked with a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist who said the nature of how to break up depends on the experience of the relationship. In her article, called “How to Break up Gracefully”, Mann interviewed Janice Lieberman, who specializes in relationship issues.
There are no “hard and fast” rules about what constitutes a relationship, Lieberman said. “There are people who think they have a relationship after two dates and people who don’t think they have a relationship after 20 dates,” she adds. On the other hand, Lieberman said, if there’s been two or three dates with romance or sexual encounters, it’s a courtesy to call someone to break it off.
Using Technology to Break Up
The internet and text messaging have made it easier for some people to break off relationships without facing the other person or even talking to them by telephone. Dedra Cruz, 19, said she once sent an e-mail to break up. “I told him ‘I’m not sure about what we have so let’s just forget about it.'” She said that she and some of her young friends find that breaking up with technology is easier. “It’s kind of hard to do it face to face,” she said, “I don’t have the guts.”
Breaking up may be difficult for some people, but the experts said a mature conversation should work, and breaking up successfully depends on how the relationship was experienced. If that doesn’t work, take the easy way out and use technology, like an e-mail or text message, to notify a soon-to-be ex that it’s over.