6 Styles of Love: How Your Approach to Romance Contributes

These 6 styles of love affect your contribution to a healthy romantic relationship. Here’s how the eros, pragma, storge, agape, ludus, and mania styles of love affect you and your partner.

6 Styles of Love

  1. Eros Love. Eros lovers tend to emphasize romantic relationships, physical beauty, sexual desire, and physical attraction. Relationships based on eros love tend to fizzle quickly, because these types of lovers can’t maintain this high level of passion. An eros lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship involves an intense focus on the emotional aspects of love.
  2. Pragma Love. Pragma lovers are rational and practical – and so is their approach to romance and healthy relationships. This type of lover decides to love someone who best fits their requirements and meets their needs. Pragma lovers assess potential partners for appropriate education levels, professions, income, social status, common interests, parent potential, and material possessions. A pragma lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship doesn’t focus on the emotional aspects of love.
  3. Storge Love. Storge lovers focus on friendship to build a healthy relationship. This style of love usually begins with a strong friendship, which eventually develops into feelings of romantic love. The sexual aspect of storge love tends to be less important than the friendship aspect (making the approach to romance a lower priority). A storge lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship focuses on caring, compassion, and heart-to-heart discussions.
  4. Agape Love. Agape lovers are known for their selfless love or brotherly love. Agape love is also know as “divine love” because it’s self-sacrificing and altruistic love. An agape lover’s approach to a healthy relationship focuses on giving without any expectations or strings attached. Agape love is best suited for the love of God, saints and martyrs because healthy romantic relationships require a balance of giving and receiving (not just giving, as an agape lover would tend to do).
  5. Ludus Love. Ludus lovers tend to be game players in romance. Ludus lovers are addicted to the excitement of forming a romantic relationship, and aren’t as enthralled by building a healthy long-lasting relationship. A ludus lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship involves the thrill of the chase and the thrill of new romance, not the work of building a long-term commitment.
  6. Mania Love. Remember Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? She was a manic lover: possessive, dependent, jealous, and controlling. A manic lover’s approach to a “healthy” romantic relationship focuses on turmoil, extreme reactions, and even obsession. Mania love can involve suicide threats, stalking, or physical violence.

These six types of lovers are based on Canadian sociologist John Allen Lee’s theory of love.

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